Myth, Mystery and Magic


 

Todd. A Revelation. 15.

 

Ah NO. What do mean no? Ken asked and I stood there milking a moment of triumph. I mean i am not going to tell you that astrology is a load of shit.

He looked at me like an idiot he was still smiling but I saw the look of incredulity in his eye. I am going to tell you that the stars foretell our futures for real. He laughed but I could see a look of concern creeping into his features, I think he thought that I had finally lost it.

But, he said then stopped. I raised my chin to encourage him to continue. I was brimming over so impressed with myself. I rarely bum myself up too much as it usually ends in ridicule and i know that my faciination for astrology has already made me an object of ridicule more than once but I was going to be the one with a shiny new doctorate and was going to cure mankind's ills in a single easy stroke. To my credit, i have never once said that i believe in astrology, what astronomer does after all. But that did not change my facination for it. I read my horoscope everyday and had even on occ asion had worked out my full chart but i still did not believe. But in the same way that i was facinated with time travel and alternae universes, the idea compelled me despite the fact that I did not believe in it.

So you think astrology does predict the future now? He was looking at me as though I had gone off my rocker and left the mechanism behind.

I do and I can prove it.

What that stuff? The stuff that you showed me on the chart, that just means that there is a slight correlation between actual happenings and astrology.

There is no way that is proof. I was getting riled now, partially because I thought that I could not see what he meant and therefore I was stupid or because he was playing me for a big laugh at the end. You idiot, I was expecting but at no point did he say that.

I was looking forward to this for ken was in a corner as unbeliever that I had just presented the truth to and he thought that he had the upper hand (pretty understandably I thought) but I was prepared for all, for everything that he could throw at me and more.

I think I have said before that I say I am right only when I know I am. Otherwise I would have said something like well I think I am right but someone may prove me otherwise or I am pretty much right until someone discovers something else that proves me wrong.

Watch any program on the television about ancient history and they tell you that this is the case Well the three great pyramids are tombs, for example was said and they meant it thirty years ago now we wonder. What if cheops just usurped the great pyramid to make himself look like a mightly ruler but in actual fact it was a temple or observatory as has been mooted.

Watch one from ten years ago, twenty, thirty and they will be different. Knowledge grows and gathers especially with the easy forms of communication that we have these days like the net. But I still feel sure that in thirty years time that they will still know that I was right but they will have improved upon my realisations and in a hundred years time my name will have even been forgotten except by a few pub quiz enthusiasts. When they are ask their question. Who was the original person that proved predestination?

Was it Todd Anderson? she will ask in a querulous voice high pitched as she is not sure that she is right even though at the ages equivalent of university but also because she does not want to seem like a geek to her friends who she hopes do not see her such but actually have ever since the very first day they met her.

But Todd, don't be so fucking stupid, the marks didn't even collide and for that matter you told me some were millions of miles away. You have not decided to take an excess of those sleeping pills have you. I notice again that he has barely touched his wine. This is very unusual indeed, even when he is pontificating on something he knows to be true and right he still has his wine, in abundance most of the time.

I could see that ken was thinking that this was not going his way but could not tell if that was just the thing of the moment or if he was growing worried about his position.

While he was still looking at me as though I was mad I laughed and drew the tracery away replacing it with another marked out in the same way.

It took me about five seconds to get it placed correctly and then i stood back to let him view the wonder of my devising. I felt like pulling a bow and saying ta da. I don't think that he realised for a second or two exactly what he was looking at but ken is a smart guy of course he's going to get it and we will solve the problems of humankind or at least make them a little easier.

Ken stands there gazing at the tracery and before he is done i decide to make it easier for him. Under the tracery i place the star chart with the signs of the zodiac and the notes on it and there he can see that everything is exact. Every point coincides perfectly, every event hits the conjunction exactly.

This cant be right, is the first thing that he says still gazing down rapt at the chart before him. It doesn't seem possible.

What has changed between these charts and the last ones for they look very similar to me but that on these everything seems to coincide whereas on the others they were a long way out. There must be something wrong here.

Actually you were making the same assumption as i was and we start out with the basis that astronomy has answers and knowlege astrology is rubbish despite the fact that many very intellegent people have put great store in it. So you are right and my original map was to prove as you say that the stars do not guide our fate and that was my intention, to prove that very thing to all the people who religiously follow thier horroscopes and even plan thier days around what thier horoscope says. Do you know that i knew a girl once that put such store in thiese things that she decided not to see somethat she had a date with and she found fantastic clever and funny just becasue her horoscope said it would not work. A very silly thing to do in my opinion and strangely a very bright girl. Who knows if it was right or if it wrong as coincidences also apply. Just because your horoscope predicts something does not mean that it isnt true since by the law of averages it will be right every once in a while but normally completely wrong.

But that is something that that girl will never know as she did not wait to find out. Even though the fellow seemed great he could have turned out to be a horror or a buffoon and just by the law of averages it predicted correctly, alternatively it could have been one of those times that it was completely wrong and she has just passed up on the love of her life.

Anyway never mind that, what i had just proved was that astrology is wrong except in a small percentage of cases where pure luck dictates that it must be right. This is what i wished to prove and i had done it efficiently and beyond a shred of a doubt. I used only the most accurate of star maps, they are easily available now and had used the worked out signs of perhaps the greatest astrologer that had ever lived and i sat down pleased with mysef that i had proved my point.

Yetr i had a quiet night ahead of me. I normally spend an hour or so on the phone to Jasmine but it just so happened that she was out that night with her work. and so i had time on my hands that i decided to fill up with a bit of television or reading but as luck would have it there was nothing on the television and the book i had picked up was doing nothing for me being rather well written but terminally dull and so i went outside and was looking up at the stars, you remember it being a cold but rather clear night a week or so ago. I stood there for quite a while and then sat on the bench and watched the consolations wheeling in the sky. I had put on a fleece and taken a glass of warmed wine with me and so i did not feel too cold though it was a bit of a chilly night.

Anyway that does not matter, i said pulling myself together again. I had disappeared as i was saying it into the reverie of that night. Just drinking my wine and watching the stars move. I had been thinking the whole time something i can so rarely not do and i remembered reading a history book about queen elizabeth the firsts rule. A mainly good rule it is thought historicly though i have wondered if only because she ruled for so long compared to other monarchs of her time that it was stability that helped more than anything. I remembered being particularly taken with the parts that mentioned her alchemist/scientist, dr john dee. I remebered something that i forgotten, perhaps on purpose.

Ken interupted, what you forgot something on purpose?

Well yes i think i did, though i could not say that for sure. Remember me telling you how much i had admired Dee? You know how good my memory is?

Ken nodded. You know i remember almost everything that i have seen or read. It is not perfect but it is rare that i forget something. I do on occasion for no reason whatsoever other than i have forgotten it but there are other things that i chose to ignore or forget as they do not fit with my ideas or view of the world. I suspect i made a decision to forget or perhaps i just forgot. Ken interrupted me then obviously impatient and wishing for me to get to my point something that sometimes it takes me far to long to do. Oh for goodness sake tell me why rather than covering all the bases and tell me why you have changed your mind about the star chart.

Sorry i am terrible for that i know. As i am talking i think of something else and side track myself i do it so often. Ken coughed then. Ah sorry i said and continued. Well to cut it short i remembered from that history book that most of the people of note in the queen elizabeths realm thought John Dee nothing other than a charlatan. I know that her privy council did so as did the other master of the realm walsingham. I had made myelf forget as i admired the man so much is all i can imagine. But when i remembered that night i decided to look farther back and use the original zodiac signs and thier dates and purposes. I tried to find the earliest possible charts but many of them were Chinese and not only could I not read them but they had strange ideas of the skies. And the phases of the moon and planets. I do not mean to fault them for these were ancient star maps but were not accurate enough for my purposes nor could i decipher most of them even with the internet involved. I tried the Mayans as i remember reading so many books about them and they seemed to know even of sunspots but their star maps are fantasy only and then i though t of the person who had changed the world; not Copernicus though in his way he did but Galileo who using Pythagorean methods had measured the distance between the stars. Where they stood in the night sky of his time and reverted to the works of the Hermes trisgemesiestus that John Dee followed.

I used his as opposed to Dee's ideas of the zodiac and then extrapolated the data forward in time for though it may have been fifteen hundred years beforehand and no one is truly sure who he was it seems that he had astrology down pat missing nothing of the patterns in the sky. When I used the time interval and his zodiacal image then you get the second map. I sighed letting out my breath for it seemed to me I had been recounting this for so long.

I lifted my wine glass and took a long draught and waited for Ken to say something.

He looked at me with a rather bored and slack expression that he wares when he is thinking. He transfers his gaze back to the map with the tracery above it. and then back to me. So, and tell me if I am wrong. You have the means to predict the future?

I do. I do not know yet fully understand how it works and I have noticed that it is only influenced by people. For example you can see the cross where the holocost began but you cannot see the asteroid hitting the earth sixty five millions of years ago that wiped out the dinosaurs. It seems to take into account only what humans have experienced. Even then it seems to take into account only what many humans have experienced and not just ones or twos but then I would have to know the person or couples exact birth date and time to know exactly wither that is true or not. I was going to try it with me and mary, simply because I thought that i knew the exact time and date of our births, I didn't know anyone else's offhand.

So what happened when you tried it with you and mary?

Well to be honest the result was alright but vague and not as clear as i had hoped but then when i called my mother to check that i had got the time correct, obviously i knew the date it turns out i had not as she didnt know it.

I couldnt as i do not know the time of my birth, my mother was sedated as her labour was talking so long. It needs to be pretty exact.

Well then Mary on her own? I did ask her but she said she could not remember, I suspect that she just wanted to annoy me, you know how she can be.

Well she has every right to be.

I did not say that she had , i just said that you know how she can be. You know i do not fault her for us splitting up.

Ken just nodded obviously annoyed that i had even tried to suggest that marys awkwardness is what had split us apart.

Jasmine then?

No i never even asked. She would just think i was silly for even suggesting such a thing. I am not there to prove it to her the way i can prove it to you and she would just htink that i was being silly or winding her up.

But you said that your in love with this girl? Well you should be able to ask her anything.

She doesnt know when she was born.

Are you kidding is she some kind of alien?

perhaps she was like me and does not know.

Tdd, i might not be able to follow your star charts and calculations in seconds the way you do but i am not supid.

He looked offended and the breath went out of me a little as he never had treated me as though i was not as smart as he was, in fact as i said earlier he always gave me credit for being smarter than i was.

Sorry todd, that was not fair, but though you are good at many things you are not a good liar. You did ask her. I assume that she told you her exact date of birth?

He nodded, shaking his head afterwards as though there was something wrong. I could not be sure but i thought i saw a tear rise in his eye.

So what is it Todd, surely it cant be that bad?

Ok, por me another glass of that rather fine wine you are feeding me. Let us talk of other things for a minute or two and then i'll tell you. It is not an easy thing to deal with and worse have no idea what I am going to do about it.

Just what is that wine anyway. Its great not so rich that it is overpowering but so full bodied that you can feel it the whole way down into my stomach. Warm and comfortable. Oh its a new australian shiraz i got in the supermarket. It was reduced in price and so bought a couple of bottles thinking to give it a try.

Even as we are talking about inanities i was trying to think of what the problem may be. He really did seem very upset but then todd was the kind of person whos emotions got the better of him quite often. He had a great empathy for most things though sometimes was so busy in his own world that he never noticed pain in others but when he did he reacted more than most men would and was not at times ashamed of having tears streaming down his face. Especialy at times when he was thinking about his father or his children but sometimes even when talking of someone that he had never met and thier trials, of whichever sort that they had faced. I saw that even as we talked of the wine and who's new CD was good or bad and even indifferent that still he had a tear at his eye. I did not mention it, i did not wish to set him in that mode until he was ready to go there and obviously he was not yet. After a while we lapsed into a kind of silence broken only with sips from our wine glasses and the odd comment. I noticed that he had finished his and said would you like another?

Its a bit early he said and i stopped amazed bfore he continued for stupid questions. Just pour and i will tell you, i am as well just getting it out of the road. Perhaps you can help solve the problem for me. Oh know i said, i really dont want to be involved remember that i am friends with Mary as well.

Oh there is no problem there and i am glad that you are but you will seee what i mean when i get to it.

 

16. Todd. It grows darker.

He started with a long sigh as though he did not wish to think about it anymore never mind talk about it but continued anyway because he knew that he must.

You have the same kind of mind as me, he started. I wish i thought but i really just nodded in his direction.

You thought exactly the same thing as me. If i could not do it on myself or Mary then the most obvious person is Jassie. When i spoke to her the other night and told her what i was doing not only was she sceptical but wondered why i was wasting my time on such a thing. Well i explained a little of it and told her it was just an exersize in mathematics that may be useful in plotting the course of the plutoids. They were planets after all in the broadest sense of the word. THis she could understand and after after a short lecture in the sillyness of astrology she gave me her time of birth. I was able to plot it on the good star chart that included the plutoids that we know about for i suspect that there are quite a few more that we have not discovered yet. He stopped and laughed, you do know, he continued that i use the royal we in the broadest sense of the idea, for what i mean is really real astronomers. I interupted for a second and said but you are a real astronomer. He shook his head and continued. Well thank you for saying so but i was once a physicist that dbbled in in astrophysics and astronomy but i was never a real astronomer.. I liked watching the stars, i was interested in both the theory and the ficytion of it. remember me telling you about my love for science fiction when i was young. But i was not at anytime a real astronomer. A knowlege able amatuer at best is all you could say.

I interupted again, but that fellow professor simpson told me that your theory of gravitic cohesion was the idea that most astrophysicists and astromers take as fact these days.

Todd just sook his head again and said, he is being kind, it really is just a theory. NOnethe less, i said.

He just shook his head again, his over long hair flapped aound his face each time that he did this.

Anyway back to the revelation nhe said. I plotted her star chart using all the new information that we have and though more accurate than all thos produced up till now they are still not perfect as there may well be other plutoids out there and i may have gussed thae trajectory of the theorised gas giant incorrectly. But all the information that cam out looked sound. It suggests she will be a bight girl and she is i can assure you. It suggests many things most of which you neither need to know nor wish to know let me just tell you that it is pretty accurate.

So you can tell the future then?

Well yes in a way, once I have done many more tests checks and calibrations. All of those may well be thrown into disarray by the discovery of another plutoid but they will still remain nearly right. I think I have proved the existence of a further large gas giant with out actually proving it if you see what I mean. All these calculations would not work out without it.

But what if its not there. What if there are two or more real planets. Well then all I have come up with would be rubbish.

Except that you saw the star map and the tracery and almost every major event involving people was so close to the astrological projection that it is unlikely that I am wrong by very much if at all.

I did notice on the second map that almost everyone of your white crosses coincided with an event.

But yes an event involving people. There is nothing even close for the likes of an earthquake on the ocean floor, yet they can be far more devastating than many on land but because we cannot see them they matter little to us. I marked the one in Chile a few years ago as obvious. Many people lost their lives yet it was caused by another deep sea quake that hurt no one as far as I know. Maybe some poor fisherman but other than that nothing. Yet as you can see I showed him pointing at the star chart with the tracery on top of it. The tracery looking a little wine stained now in certain places. Yet the deep sea quake was almost double the power of one on land but only the one on land shows up.

So it is human pain or pleasure that shows?

Really I am unsure of what it shows other than it is only affected by people. Something that is cataclysmic like a sun spot or volcano erupting in the arctic means nothing to this system as it does not affect people. Perhaps it does show up in someway but if it does I have not figured it out yet.

So what are you going to do about it?

What do you mean do about it? I have no idea how to calculate those things in, in fact it was simple luck and me being persistent and having a bit to much time on my hands that got me this far.

I didn't mean that, what I meant was that you have proved predestination. In fact in a small way you have proved the existence of god.

God?

Well yes of course . If our future is written in the stars then someone planned it that way, I can believe in everything being arbitrary until the plan is sat in front of me and you just put it there. If the plan is made then something put that plan in place.

Instead of walking up and down he fell backwards into a seat and seemed to slump.

You know i never even thought of that. I honestly did not expect it to work and then as the calculations got clocer to the events i was so obsessed with trying to perfect the formulae that i never thought of the consequences. Yes it is likely to cause a big revival in religion even i suppose. People will do nothing and the stars will say they agree with them and that will be thier fate. If someone knows when they will die what is there to strive for. Society could well fall apart.

Do you not think that you are being a little dramatic there.

Well i suppose i am but i have not thought that part of it through. And you are right i suppose it does prove the existance of god. I have never been a believer you know.

Oh yes i know only to well, you are very polite about it but you always make it obvious that you disbelieve.

Really i thought i made it plain that i disbelieved the teachings of the worlds religons not a disbelif in god. For though i do not believe there is a god on the evidence available to me, i am perfectly aware that i could be proved wrong. Maybe you have mixed up the two for i certainly do not believe in the god s that the worlds religions foist upon us. I have always thought that if there is a god then we would and could not understand it enough to fully know its abilities or what it expected of us.

In fact though i have not thought upon it until this time, should a god exist that has made the universe and perhaps countless more universes, galaxies, solar systems and all the wonders that are there to be seen in the night sky and countless more that we cannot see then my first thought is that we, i mean, people small are we are cannot comprehend its plan. It really is not worth thinking about. Or rather it is worth thinking about but not until we have more time.

Anyway you do understand what i am saying about inevitability and predestination.

Ok I've got you I said, though to be honest I was still struggling with it a little. But I did now what he meant. generally.

Ok so you get that for individuals or couples or even small groups of people it is reasonably accurate, I estimate plus/minus fifteen to eighteen percent inaccurate. For large groups of people that reduces to eight and even as low as 3.5 percent inaccurate. Therefore the larger the numbers of people involved the more accurate it becomes. So if I was to predict a car crash for a guy driving home from work on his own I have a greater than seventy five percent chance of it being right but if I was to predict for example a cruise ship sinking with five thousand people onboard the accuracy increases to more than ninety three percent. Look at this for example I say pointing at a white cross that intersects exactly. This is Syria, today and thousands upon thousands have died and the accuracy is nearly ninety eight percent. the margin of error less than two. Obviously there is a plutoid that we do not know of yet affecting my calculations or perhaps my guesses on the gas giant are wrong. I am pretty sure if we could see all the bodies in the sky then I could make that nearly one hundred percent. Remember I have invented the gas giant but if this is all right which it looks as though it is then I can tell them where to find it.

I am just looking at him my mind reeling with figures and a more important thought that is just pushing its way into my head.

You're with me so far?

Just, I said, though I think I was pushing it at the time as my head was full to bursting and getting worse by the minute. Even the wine was not dulling my senses enough to comprehend the profundity of it.

So I did Jassie's.

Jassie? Oh sorry Todd, Jasmine you mean? I was still thinking through what you said.

Oh no worries, I have had weeks to accept what I was coming up with, of course it is going to take you some time. Wine to go with that thought he asked standing?

Most definitely I replied still coming to terms with his hypothesis. He must be wrong, he's got to be. I did not have his problem with the divine though slowly but surely over the years I had lost my faith in god. There had been no major event or epiphany that had turned me from him, in fact I had mainly been rather lucky in life, which you would assume would bring you closer to your maker rather than estrange you.

I always thought I had made all my decisions by myself, some were good, some were not so good but they were my decisions and I lived with them. So I suppose some unnoticed time along the way to today he had just left my thoughts. I think the only time I thought of him was when Todd was convincing us all that he did not exist. I now realise from what he said that he never spoke out against there being a god for not even someone like him could prove or disprove the existence of a god. He spoke out only against religions, I remember him saying now that he he does not believe in the Christian god told of in the old and new testaments but qualifying this, he said, but these are tales told by men and what man can know a god. But now I suppose that he has proved that god is out there and does exist. There is a certain Irony in this an atheist proving the existence of god.

He could be wrong but I know he is not. Oh yes he is strange at times, anally retentive, weird, suffering from some weird psychological complaint yes, oh yes, to all those, but he never miscalculates. When Sheila and I first got together with Todd and Mary down at the pub he just seemed complete normal but as time passed I came to think of him as some kind of machine. I went down to play the pub quiz with him one night and I was late my work got in the road as usual. Most of the teams had four or five people in them and one had eight. Yet he was winning on his own and reasonably easily. He explained to me that they had only done the subjects that he knew about, his lead would soon vanish when sport came on and television. All the television questions are about soap operas he explained and I know nothing about them. As far as sport goes if i can answer one question then i will be surprised, it must be only because it made the news.

As long as its books, history, films, science or music I can hold my own.

Over the years we have all realised that he is not a machine in fact he is probably more human than the rest of us, he is far more liberal and considerate. He believes that rehabilitation can work and that drug addicts need help not condemnation. His calculating mind just fascinates me. I know I am making myself sound stupid here but I am a smart guy. I went to college got my degree and am doing well in life. We had a competition a few times, me sitting with a calculator and he working just sitting on the sofa in the pub with his head back and eyes shut listening to the calculation that he had to make. He could do it quicker in his head than I could with a calculator. I asked him how he did that and he said I just see it in my head and am able to calculate it with a piece of lined paper and a pencil.

But you did not have them.

He laughed, no but they are in my head. I scribble it down and work it out in my head. You think I am good at these things then you should have seen my father. He could do the same thing and far more quickly than me. I used to watch him fascinated, he did it so quickly. Far better than I and he did not visualise it as i do, it was for him just a simple mental calculation. He laughed again, i suspect that it was all the effort of working out the prices on the horses or dogs that he betted on every day yet it was an impressive skill none the less.

 

 

 

 

17. Todd. What do I do now?

I am sweating, the sheets wet and cold on the bed. It does not even feel like my bed, it is softer, the pillows more encompassing and lush.

I push the quilt upwards with my leg and a draft of cold air comes in chilling me even more. Where am I?

I am frightened to open my eyes just in case I have done something that I should not have. I run these thoughts round in my head.

That is not something that is common for me. I really do not believe that being drunk is an excuse for infidelity, even if your lover lies asleep (you think) on the other side of the world.

There is quite plainly no excuse unless you wish to manufacture one. Yet that is what worried me at this particular time.

I try opening my eyes and they do quite easily in the pale twilight of dawn. I am in my own bedroom, why are the sheets wet? Shit have I pissed myself. This is highly unlikely as it is something that I have rarely done no matter how drunk i have ever been though I remember that I did once dreaming that I was in the toilet when much younger and less able to contain myself.

No I have got home and obviously drunk have gone to bed fully clothed, it has not been a cold night or I have forgotten to put the heating down well either that or I have awakened five months later and winters onset has begun. I discounted the later first. For me five hours sleep was a good night, five months sleep was not only unlikely but just impossible, in fact eight hours sleep for me was just impossible though it was something that I wished for.

I slid from the bed shivering and grabbed my old black towelling dressing gown and pulling it onto my arms over my clothes wandered through the strange square hallway that is architecturally stupid into the kitchen trying to tie the belt and failing let it drag on the ground my dressing gown falling open as I fill the kettle at the kitchen sink and put it on to boil before putting instant coffee and sweeteners into a mug and wandering back through the strange hallway into the bedroom to strip the damp clothes from my body and throw them on the floor. Without the clothes it seems so much colder, the sweat drying on my bare skin and I pull on the dressing gown again fastening correctly this time and wander through to the bathroom. I start the shower but I know it takes a minute or two to warm up and so I just stand there on the bath mat and wait trying to think of the night before. Had anything I need worry about have happened then i would not be wearing the clothes that I already have stripped off.

In the shower I try to remember the events of the night before and many or most of them I do but I don't remember coming home at all. I seem to remember getting into a taxi at some point and arriving home, staggering into the house and heading straight to bed. Though these are vague notions rather than actual memories and may well be nothing other than a manufactured fantasy that I have created for myself. I do not know.

I dry myself off, the house cold and the towel soft so it moves over me moving the water around rather than actually drying me. It must be a new towel. I had bought a bundle from a shop in the town when Jassie came over as I knew that she liked soft towels whereas I liked them hard and abrasive so they would soak up the water and really dry you off. This must be one of those that I have not used yet. It was so cold when I was wet but the shower had warmed me up a little, and now it was going to be freezing again.

I put the heating on and turned it up at the thermostat, the dressing gown pulled tight to my still damp body.

Perhaps it was the chill or perhaps something else but I was thinking again and rather lucidly. I remembered my conversation with Ken last night and suddenly I had time to think. Have I proved the existence of god?

I start thinking of the woolly white bearded Christian god of my childhood. Really a depiction of Odin the King of the Norse Gods and the ruler of Asgard.

At no point did the bible describe god other than the idea that mankind was made in his image as far as I remember. Only to Moses, Noah and Abraham did god speak directly and even then through thought or the burning bush did he make his presence known. The Christians were good at this, masters of propaganda, using images of earlier gods, especially in what is now the western world to make people accept the change to their religion far more readily.

For who in the northern world would accept readily in the fourth and fifth centuries a Jesus that looked very Arabic, (even now in the twenty first century we still have fear of others). ((Xenophobia)) perhaps with hooded eyes due to the ferocity of the sun in the middle east and with a prominent nose, perhaps even hooked, dark skin and a middle eastern look he was after all a Jew that lived near the cradle of the worlds people.

I know that I am drawing a caricature here, it is also true however that Jesus would not have looked like the Norse god Balder as he was originally portrayed in the north and Scandinavia as Christianity was taking hold. In fact I feel sure that Balder could not have looked any more different from Jesus had you tried to make them different. Oh maybe they both had beards but then every man did then and a few of the women too.

Jesus in the earliest images found in the north was portrayed with longish dirty blond hair and a reddish beard. It is highly unlikely that the Jesus that we know of from the new testament would have looked like that rather he would more likely have been dark of hair with brown eyes and a brown complexion.

It was a wily idea and rather sly by the early Christians to take over and dominate. They change the idea and complexion of Christ to integrate the peoples of that land into their Christian religion. No one now knows what Jesus may have looked like if he even existed, though I personally suspect that he did. That they used the effigies and holy days, even built upon the holy sites of earlier religions. That they incorporated major artefacts and pagan ideas into the Christian religion so the people when they converted would not feel so alien to it is simply a fact. Here they incorporated the Christmas tree, Yule log, even changing the dates of religious festivals so they coincided with pagan dates. But what helped cause the success of their earlier conversions was what caused them to lose me. Something that I am sure that they would say sorry for but then giggle behind hands over their mouths.

I decided many many years ago now that there was not a god. This was not only due to my own assessment but also the assessment of people that I respected. Like everyone else in this world; I could see the terrible state of everything, the casual cruelty without punishment, the good dying young and more I started to read of natural philosophy.

I was young when I started to read the works of Edmund Spencer and Jack London and they made me think of natural selection when to me Darwin was nothing other than a name linked with evolution. I began to realise the struggle for life in extremis. I began to realise that the Christian model was not right. As I said I was still young and having been brought up in the Christian faith I knew little enough of other faiths to know wither they were right or wrong. Still young I realised the folly of Christianity for there was far more to the world than the minister in church or the ladies at Sunday school taught us. I still believed that there was something out there. A deity of some sort, a guiding force, I really did not know what it was but the universe was far too complex to have come into being by luck. But as I said I was still young and perhaps a little foolish, or then again perhaps a little more sensible.

I went to college and knowing what I then knew that the Christian faith was wrong but that I thought that there was still something that controlled life, I started studying other religions while I was still studying my other god that was physics. I started reading of other religions and their ethos. I read first of the vast complexity of Hinduism and though some of it struck me as right at the same time I had been a monotheist since I learned to think and so I found it hard to accept a number of gods. I do not say here that it is incorrect yet I personally found it difficult to accept. Buddhism I found is not really a religion rather than a philosophical concept which appealed to me for a long time but did not stick mainly due to the fact that whilst the Buddhists were telling me of harmony and and the sanctity of life they were slaughtering each other with machetes in the east.

I read of Islam and of some of their heroes, and realised that they clung to their faith where the Christians in the opposite way had bastardized it. I realised that this meant that they believe in the word of their faith and are not willing to sully it for riches, except as is the case with all humankind some would change it to suit the worlds changes, adapt it for modernity or slide from it for wealth. I found this the most tempting of the worlds religions for the shear naked belief of its adherents and so began to study it with a thought to conversion in the future. In a way I understood the need to understand what god wishes of you yet I was still a student of physics and all that physics told me Islam did not and all that Islam told me physics disagreed with. Yet there have been great Islamic prophets in the past , some Persian, some Arab that understood the nature of the universe as well as the nature of people. Personally I believe that much of the great wisdom we in the western world received from Greece was ceded to it by Persia.

I was at college and away from home and still young though I had an inquiring mind and the more I learned the more the universes role in things became obvious. The more that physics blossomed in my mind the more religion was pushed to the side. And now many years later I had discounted the idea of a god for so long that I now thought it silly.

Do not get me wrong, I have never or at least rarely disparaged other peoples thoughts on god, or gods for everyone is due their own point of view and I knew that I could so easily be wrong as right. Yet I had fell from looking for enlightenment to thinking it nothing less than fools gold.

18. Todd. A new point of view.

The mug is warm in my hands as I sit upon my old sofa and contemplate. After my rather dodgy start to the day I feel quite clean and refreshed, my mind seems active and so I decide not to turn on all the things that I usually do upon waking at a weekend; the stereo, computer and television.

Rather I sit upon the sofa as I said and draw my legs up and cup my coffee in interlaced hands and think. The warmth from the cup is comforting as I hold it and that removes yet another care from my shoulders allowing my mind to open and think.

I can think with any of those appliances on but my thought process works slightly differently I have found with outside stimuli affecting it. I have no idea why but suspect that part of my brain is so taken with the dialogue or music that it it does not do both as well as it copes with singularly. Most parts of my brain do but I think there are one or two small parts of it that stick with the one thing until its done. So I sit and think and drink coffee.

Perhaps the caffeine stimulates my mind more, I do not know, yet I seem clarified at the moment. If there is a pattern in the stars that predicts the future there can only be a few reasons for that and none of them seem good to my mind. Well the most obvious is the silliest one and that is someone has moved the stars in their course so I could discover this.

Should this be the case then there is an astronomical jester of a god. Or something so all powerful that it could mess with physics to give the effect it wanted. I thought this rather dubious. Though in a way that kind of power appealed to me and perhaps at sometime in the future this could be the case.

I remember reading the lens man series of books when I was young by EE Doc Smith and the fact that physics was so strong and advanced that they could throw around planets like billiard balls so maybe it is not as impossible as it seems. Our only limitation is the extent of our imagination yet I still discount this possibility out of hand simply for the sheer ridiculousness of the notion.

Perhaps more reasonable is that some being or alien of some sort is manipulating the human race so that everything that they do fits a celestial guide that has no significance other than cheering them up and proving to themselves that they can do it. Yes it sounds as silly to me as would to anyone else except, perhaps, for the insane aliens that are perpetrating this conspiracy yet we cannot by its very nature understand alien thought. Perhaps to them this is Monty python, fifty million killed by atom bomb, ha ha ha ha. I doubt that though I cannot exclude it as a possibility, even if rather unlikely. I think that I could perhaps be that kind of alien given the ability and immeasurable power to do something like that as a hoax. But then immeasurable power is unlikely, though again possible, but that they would have the same sense of humour as me seems highly doubtful. Though they then could have created me to know that at least one person would discover their hoax and find it funny.

Perhaps they even created the pyramids after all as a joke so that we would still be puzzling over it millennia later. This I do not believe.

This is possible but rather unlikely I think, Perhaps we have not fully understood mathematics? This I could buy into anytime, there is so much that we do not know and so much that seems right that will not be and so much that seems wrong may well be right. I am not suggesting here that there is another great galactic conspiracy set in the stars to tell us that we do not understand physics and mathematics quite as well as we think that we do. Rather than question everything, and this, I think is always a good thing.

This I think is true, however, and most physicists would agree with me. We know a lot more than we once did but there is so much more to know. So far these thoughts are getting me no where; I will have to go deeper. If all your conjectures are impossible then look at the impossible then narrow it down to the merely improbable.

Well rather than change the positions of the stars or change the earth's orbit of the sun as well as the other planets and their moons orbits what then if you were to change the suns course outwards with universal and galactic expansion. Would this even be possible by unimaginable means? Obviously unimaginable means could accomplish it but then I cannot imagine what would be able to do that. I suppose other than perhaps a super asteroid, but then it would have to be so large that it could not have missed a gravitational pull somewhere in its course. Perhaps a race so advanced that they could alter space enough to have a massive planet exit a wormhole so close to the sun that it could change its stable trajectory.

Change the course of a solar system? I do not think that it could be done but then I suppose in galactic or more universal terms then a solar system is little more than a burning match to us humans.

After all almost all the mass is contained in the sun and were you to change its course then all mass in our solar system would follow until we collided with something else , if we ever did, the universe is a pretty big place after all.

Everything I have said so far is so unlikely that I have discounted it even as I have thought it.

Which of course was what Ken said. I have proved by a round about means the existence of god or gods.

There is no other explanation other than that which is not worth considering. Of course you may ask the unuttered question, but I have an answer to that as well though an answer that even I do not like. I have always thought on the ideas of Darwin and realised that there was a catalyst. Something to set the course of events in motion. Wither it be the lung fish pushed out of the water in search of food, the mammals gaining the upper hand due to their size and agility and more their adaptability, the development of the opposable thumb or tool use or just Homo erectus walking out of Africa, there has always been a catalyst missing. Personally I always attributed it to changes in the environment and still see that as true to a certain extent I must now accept the obvious assumption the one that I have been trying so hard to fight. To Deny.

It is so easy now to know what that that catalyst was. It was the being, thing, deity, god, that put the universe together as it had to be when our future is charted in those stars. The being that created us created them as well billions of years beforehand and set them on the courses that they still hold to billions of years before our species even came into existence.

There is a god, that is sure now, or if not a god an architect of the universe and I can now see its face in the stars that hover in the sky above us.

astronomy is the most wonderful thing in the world. Everything is perfect, mathematically sound and stable and it seems we are just puppets of this architect. And its signature is astrology our future written in the stars to show its complete omnipotence, its care of and to its fledgling species.

This deity, god or demigod or architect that set us in being and set us on our dreadful course knew what he (she or it) was doing.

Did it begin with Adam and eve?

With Homo erectus wandering out of Africa?

With Ramapithecus stretching to reach fruit on a tree.

With cro-magnon man or something that we have not yet found.

Worse perhaps our religions are nothing more than failures waiting to be exposed.

Man was formed in the likeness of god we are told yet then god must then look like a primitive man. This I cannot believe though it would not matter to me what god looked like yet though we are three hundred centuries on yet we are only at the start of growing mature. we are still little more than Children becoming aware of things around us and our effect upon these things and our place in the universe.

If god (and I use that term only as the easiest term available) created us and everything around us as now seems likely what was his intentions for us?

I had a feeling that I was going to find out and find out sooner than I hoped and that I was not going to like the answer.

 

17. Todd. What do I do now?

I am sweating, the sheets wet and cold on the bed. It does not even feel like my bed, it is softer, the pillows more encompassing and lush.

I push the quilt upwards with my leg and a draft of cold air comes in chilling me even more. Where am I?

I am frightened to open my eyes just in case I have done something that I should not have. I run these thoughts round in my head.

That is not something that is common for me. I really do not believe that being drunk is an excuse for infidelity, even if your lover lies asleep (you think) on the other side of the world.

There is quite plainly no excuse unless you wish to manufacture one. Yet that is what worried me at this particular time.

I try opening my eyes and they do quite easily in the pale twilight of dawn. I am in my own bedroom, why are the sheets wet? Shit have I pissed myself. This is highly unlikely as it is something that I have rarely done no matter how drunk i have ever been though I remember that I did once dreaming that I was in the toilet when much younger and less able to contain myself.

No I have got home and obviously drunk have gone to bed fully clothed, it has not been a cold night or I have forgotten to put the heating down well either that or I have awakened five months later and winters onset has begun. I discounted the later first. For me five hours sleep was a good night, five months sleep was not only unlikely but just impossible, in fact eight hours sleep for me was just impossible though it was something that I wished for.

I slid from the bed shivering and grabbed my old black towelling dressing gown and pulling it onto my arms over my clothes wandered through the strange square hallway that is architecturally stupid into the kitchen trying to tie the belt and failing let it drag on the ground my dressing gown falling open as I fill the kettle at the kitchen sink and put it on to boil before putting instant coffee and sweeteners into a mug and wandering back through the strange hallway into the bedroom to strip the damp clothes from my body and throw them on the floor. Without the clothes it seems so much colder, the sweat drying on my bare skin and I pull on the dressing gown again fastening correctly this time and wander through to the bathroom. I start the shower but I know it takes a minute or two to warm up and so I just stand there on the bath mat and wait trying to think of the night before. Had anything I need worry about have happened then i would not be wearing the clothes that I already have stripped off.

In the shower I try to remember the events of the night before and many or most of them I do but I don't remember coming home at all. I seem to remember getting into a taxi at some point and arriving home, staggering into the house and heading straight to bed. Though these are vague notions rather than actual memories and may well be nothing other than a manufactured fantasy that I have created for myself. I do not know.

I dry myself off, the house cold and the towel soft so it moves over me moving the water around rather than actually drying me. It must be a new towel. I had bought a bundle from a shop in the town when Jassie came over as I knew that she liked soft towels whereas I liked them hard and abrasive so they would soak up the water and really dry you off. This must be one of those that I have not used yet. It was so cold when I was wet but the shower had warmed me up a little, and now it was going to be freezing again.

I put the heating on and turned it up at the thermostat, the dressing gown pulled tight to my still damp body.

Perhaps it was the chill or perhaps something else but I was thinking again and rather lucidly. I remembered my conversation with Ken last night and suddenly I had time to think. Have I proved the existence of god?

I start thinking of the woolly white bearded Christian god of my childhood. Really a depiction of Odin the King of the Norse Gods and the ruler of Asgard.

At no point did the bible describe god other than the idea that mankind was made in his image as far as I remember. Only to Moses, Noah and Abraham did god speak directly and even then through thought or the burning bush did he make his presence known. The Christians were good at this, masters of propaganda, using images of earlier gods, especially in what is now the western world to make people accept the change to their religion far more readily.

For who in the northern world would accept readily in the fourth and fifth centuries a Jesus that looked very Arabic, (even now in the twenty first century we still have fear of others). ((Xenophobia)) perhaps with hooded eyes due to the ferocity of the sun in the middle east and with a prominent nose, perhaps even hooked, dark skin and a middle eastern look he was after all a Jew that lived near the cradle of the worlds people.

I know that I am drawing a caricature here, it is also true however that Jesus would not have looked like the Norse god Balder as he was originally portrayed in the north and Scandinavia as Christianity was taking hold. In fact I feel sure that Balder could not have looked any more different from Jesus had you tried to make them different. Oh maybe they both had beards but then every man did then and a few of the women too.

Jesus in the earliest images found in the north was portrayed with longish dirty blond hair and a reddish beard. It is highly unlikely that the Jesus that we know of from the new testament would have looked like that rather he would more likely have been dark of hair with brown eyes and a brown complexion.

It was a wily idea and rather sly by the early Christians to take over and dominate. They change the idea and complexion of Christ to integrate the peoples of that land into their Christian religion. No one now knows what Jesus may have looked like if he even existed, though I personally suspect that he did. That they used the effigies and holy days, even built upon the holy sites of earlier religions. That they incorporated major artefacts and pagan ideas into the Christian religion so the people when they converted would not feel so alien to it is simply a fact. Here they incorporated the Christmas tree, Yule log, even changing the dates of religious festivals so they coincided with pagan dates. But what helped cause the success of their earlier conversions was what caused them to lose me. Something that I am sure that they would say sorry for but then giggle behind hands over their mouths.

I decided many many years ago now that there was not a god. This was not only due to my own assessment but also the assessment of people that I respected. Like everyone else in this world; I could see the terrible state of everything, the casual cruelty without punishment, the good dying young and more I started to read of natural philosophy.

I was young when I started to read the works of Edmund Spencer and Jack London and they made me think of natural selection when to me Darwin was nothing other than a name linked with evolution. I began to realise the struggle for life in extremis. I began to realise that the Christian model was not right. As I said I was still young and having been brought up in the Christian faith I knew little enough of other faiths to know wither they were right or wrong. Still young I realised the folly of Christianity for there was far more to the world than the minister in church or the ladies at Sunday school taught us. I still believed that there was something out there. A deity of some sort, a guiding force, I really did not know what it was but the universe was far too complex to have come into being by luck. But as I said I was still young and perhaps a little foolish, or then again perhaps a little more sensible.

I went to college and knowing what I then knew that the Christian faith was wrong but that I thought that there was still something that controlled life, I started studying other religions while I was still studying my other god that was physics. I started reading of other religions and their ethos. I read first of the vast complexity of Hinduism and though some of it struck me as right at the same time I had been a monotheist since I learned to think and so I found it hard to accept a number of gods. I do not say here that it is incorrect yet I personally found it difficult to accept. Buddhism I found is not really a religion rather than a philosophical concept which appealed to me for a long time but did not stick mainly due to the fact that whilst the Buddhists were telling me of harmony and and the sanctity of life they were slaughtering each other with machetes in the east.

I read of Islam and of some of their heroes, and realised that they clung to their faith where the Christians in the opposite way had bastardized it. I realised that this meant that they believe in the word of their faith and are not willing to sully it for riches, except as is the case with all humankind some would change it to suit the worlds changes, adapt it for modernity or slide from it for wealth. I found this the most tempting of the worlds religions for the shear naked belief of its adherents and so began to study it with a thought to conversion in the future. In a way I understood the need to understand what god wishes of you yet I was still a student of physics and all that physics told me Islam did not and all that Islam told me physics disagreed with. Yet there have been great Islamic prophets in the past , some Persian, some Arab that understood the nature of the universe as well as the nature of people. Personally I believe that much of the great wisdom we in the western world received from Greece was ceded to it by Persia.

I was at college and away from home and still young though I had an inquiring mind and the more I learned the more the universes role in things became obvious. The more that physics blossomed in my mind the more religion was pushed to the side. And now many years later I had discounted the idea of a god for so long that I now thought it silly.

Do not get me wrong, I have never or at least rarely disparaged other peoples thoughts on god, or gods for everyone is due their own point of view and I knew that I could so easily be wrong as right. Yet I had fell from looking for enlightenment to thinking it nothing less than fools gold.

18. Todd. A new point of view.

The mug is warm in my hands as I sit upon my old sofa and contemplate. After my rather dodgy start to the day I feel quite clean and refreshed, my mind seems active and so I decide not to turn on all the things that I usually do upon waking at a weekend; the stereo, computer and television.

Rather I sit upon the sofa as I said and draw my legs up and cup my coffee in interlaced hands and think. The warmth from the cup is comforting as I hold it and that removes yet another care from my shoulders allowing my mind to open and think.

I can think with any of those appliances on but my thought process works slightly differently I have found with outside stimuli affecting it. I have no idea why but suspect that part of my brain is so taken with the dialogue or music that it it does not do both as well as it copes with singularly. Most parts of my brain do but I think there are one or two small parts of it that stick with the one thing until its done. So I sit and think and drink coffee.

Perhaps the caffeine stimulates my mind more, I do not know, yet I seem clarified at the moment. If there is a pattern in the stars that predicts the future there can only be a few reasons for that and none of them seem good to my mind. Well the most obvious is the silliest one and that is someone has moved the stars in their course so I could discover this.

Should this be the case then there is an astronomical jester of a god. Or something so all powerful that it could mess with physics to give the effect it wanted. I thought this rather dubious. Though in a way that kind of power appealed to me and perhaps at sometime in the future this could be the case.

I remember reading the lens man series of books when I was young by EE Doc Smith and the fact that physics was so strong and advanced that they could throw around planets like billiard balls so maybe it is not as impossible as it seems. Our only limitation is the extent of our imagination yet I still discount this possibility out of hand simply for the sheer ridiculousness of the notion.

Perhaps more reasonable is that some being or alien of some sort is manipulating the human race so that everything that they do fits a celestial guide that has no significance other than cheering them up and proving to themselves that they can do it. Yes it sounds as silly to me as would to anyone else except, perhaps, for the insane aliens that are perpetrating this conspiracy yet we cannot by its very nature understand alien thought. Perhaps to them this is Monty python, fifty million killed by atom bomb, ha ha ha ha. I doubt that though I cannot exclude it as a possibility, even if rather unlikely. I think that I could perhaps be that kind of alien given the ability and immeasurable power to do something like that as a hoax. But then immeasurable power is unlikely, though again possible, but that they would have the same sense of humour as me seems highly doubtful. Though they then could have created me to know that at least one person would discover their hoax and find it funny.

Perhaps they even created the pyramids after all as a joke so that we would still be puzzling over it millennia later. This I do not believe.

This is possible but rather unlikely I think, Perhaps we have not fully understood mathematics? This I could buy into anytime, there is so much that we do not know and so much that seems right that will not be and so much that seems wrong may well be right. I am not suggesting here that there is another great galactic conspiracy set in the stars to tell us that we do not understand physics and mathematics quite as well as we think that we do. Rather than question everything, and this, I think is always a good thing.

This I think is true, however, and most physicists would agree with me. We know a lot more than we once did but there is so much more to know. So far these thoughts are getting me no where; I will have to go deeper. If all your conjectures are impossible then look at the impossible then narrow it down to the merely improbable.

Well rather than change the positions of the stars or change the earth's orbit of the sun as well as the other planets and their moons orbits what then if you were to change the suns course outwards with universal and galactic expansion. Would this even be possible by unimaginable means? Obviously unimaginable means could accomplish it but then I cannot imagine what would be able to do that. I suppose other than perhaps a super asteroid, but then it would have to be so large that it could not have missed a gravitational pull somewhere in its course. Perhaps a race so advanced that they could alter space enough to have a massive planet exit a wormhole so close to the sun that it could change its stable trajectory.

Change the course of a solar system? I do not think that it could be done but then I suppose in galactic or more universal terms then a solar system is little more than a burning match to us humans.

After all almost all the mass is contained in the sun and were you to change its course then all mass in our solar system would follow until we collided with something else , if we ever did, the universe is a pretty big place after all.

Everything I have said so far is so unlikely that I have discounted it even as I have thought it.

Which of course was what Ken said. I have proved by a round about means the existence of god or gods.

There is no other explanation other than that which is not worth considering. Of course you may ask the unuttered question, but I have an answer to that as well though an answer that even I do not like. I have always thought on the ideas of Darwin and realised that there was a catalyst. Something to set the course of events in motion. Wither it be the lung fish pushed out of the water in search of food, the mammals gaining the upper hand due to their size and agility and more their adaptability, the development of the opposable thumb or tool use or just Homo erectus walking out of Africa, there has always been a catalyst missing. Personally I always attributed it to changes in the environment and still see that as true to a certain extent I must now accept the obvious assumption the one that I have been trying so hard to fight. To Deny.

It is so easy now to know what that that catalyst was. It was the being, thing, deity, god, that put the universe together as it had to be when our future is charted in those stars. The being that created us created them as well billions of years beforehand and set them on the courses that they still hold to billions of years before our species even came into existence.

There is a god, that is sure now, or if not a god an architect of the universe and I can now see its face in the stars that hover in the sky above us.

astronomy is the most wonderful thing in the world. Everything is perfect, mathematically sound and stable and it seems we are just puppets of this architect. And its signature is astrology our future written in the stars to show its complete omnipotence, its care of and to its fledgling species.

This deity, god or demigod or architect that set us in being and set us on our dreadful course knew what he (she or it) was doing.

Did it begin with Adam and eve?

With Homo erectus wandering out of Africa?

With Ramapithecus stretching to reach fruit on a tree.

With cro-magnon man or something that we have not yet found.

Worse perhaps our religions are nothing more than failures waiting to be exposed.

Man was formed in the likeness of god we are told yet then god must then look like a primitive man. This I cannot believe though it would not matter to me what god looked like yet though we are three hundred centuries on yet we are only at the start of growing mature. we are still little more than Children becoming aware of things around us and our effect upon these things and our place in the universe.

If god (and I use that term only as the easiest term available) created us and everything around us as now seems likely what was his intentions for us?

I had a feeling that I was going to find out and find out sooner than I hoped and that I was not going to like the answer.

 

 

 

 

19. Todd. All lies and fakes.

 

 

 

 

I need to check all my calculations. I need to know that all this is right before I publish anything.

I expected the ridicule of my peers, something that I was not unfamiliar with anyway being a bit of an outcast as far as astronomy goes due to my ongoing flirtation with astrology which all astronomers usually including myself have no time for.

Astronomy after all is the science of movement, of planets and stars and physics and facts. Astrology is the domain of fools and fakirs and is there for the suggestible and gullible only. No man (or indeed woman) of science would be taken in by such a thing.

In my defence I have not been taken in by astrology, I have never truly believed in it, thinking of it more than others though held me up to my peers as a fool and to some even perhaps a charlatan. Yet I am the one that has been proved right, much to my amazement, to be honest, but right none the less.

Yet I was still wary and had to check everything before I published fearing that I had made a miscalculation somewhere, an error of judgement or that I simply had made a mistake. All these things were possible though unlikely as I am a worrier and a checker by my very nature and so I had checked and double checked then checked again just to be sure. Then I worried that I had miscalculated yet I had not. But I would do it all again.

I knew that when published I would be open for public ridicule and expected much of it and worse once people realised that it was all true. Thier fates were written in the stars.

Only once in my life I had mentioned astrology in anything other than my private life and that was when I was doing my degree. Long before I was qualified I submitted a thesis to various publications on the possibility of astrology as an art form. After all many before me believed in it, many that were smarter than I. Sir Isaac Newton, Doctor John Dee, Da Vinci and many others of note believed in it and even studied it.

I did not wish to go really out there and profess a thought that there may be something in it as it had been derided as a science for a century before I was born. But then again I thought that my theorem, that it was perhaps in its own way an art form was my way of avoiding ridicule amongst my peers.

As it turned out I may just as well have advocated that aliens made the pyramids or that Mars was populated by little green men or indeed that the moon was made of cheese.

Comments were thin on the ground at first and I thought that I had mainly got away with it, though there were a few disparaging remarks on the letters pages of the papers even the next week. I had not got off Scott free but I had come close to it, to my mind and it was another paper published. But then in the next months journal there was a deluge of comments the worst of which even included remarks like; we are wasting the tax payers money putting fools like him (me) through university. Our taxpayers money is given to fund the proliferation of science and not mumbo-jumbo, are we paying for witch doctors to be educated now?

There were many on the same subject some more virulent than others but most impolite and ridiculing me. I was very tempted to reply and state that one of the greatest scientists and mathematicians ever was also an advocate of predestination se out by god. This and perhaps even worse; alchemy, Sir Isaac Newton but I knew that this would just prolong the argument and make me ever more a scapegoat for the conservative wing of science. I wrote no more about it though I was lucky enough to have another couple of papers published but on mainstream Astro- physics.

I was never going to be so foolish again. Everything would be right before I even thought about publishing it. All will have been checked, assessed and made sure of before I published this time though I still expected the ridicule that I received on that earlier occasion as I was going to tell them this time that astrology was true and that god exists. I was expecting a barrage and when the time came to publish I got exactly what I expected.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

20. Todd. Lies and fakes (part 2)

The floodgates opened and the deluge was even worse than I had expected and as you have heard I expected the very worst. Yet I had checked everything double and triple checked it and I was right. There was no real disputing it I thought yet nearly every scientist in the world seemed to. Some saying that I was misguided others that I was just plain stupid. Even some religious leaders chimed in despite the fact that in a very minute way I was thier savior.

When the story moved from the scientific publications to the mainstream media, as I knew that it must the response that I received was not as I had expected. I knew the science community would spurn me until they looked fully at the evidence and then I knew that they would come round. Fact is fact after all and I had made sure that I was right before publishing.

I had thought that many sectors of the mainstream mass publications, when it got to them as inevitably it must, would see that this had validity after all, had it not then it would never moved past the science magazines and paper publications. I, I fear had given them more credit than they were due, for they just viewed it as a sensationalist piece. Yet it did not divide public opinion as I had suspected that it would rather it gathered the hate against it fuelled by the many professors, doctors and even schoolteachers that had set out against it.

I suppose it came as a proof of validity against the things that they had examining, looking to discover and telling the children sat in front of them.

I remember stupidly thinking that it serves them right, the school curriculum when I attended was not only silly but much of what we were taught was incorrect.

I remembered them telling us of Hannibal and taking the elephants over the Alps and how they had been decisive in his victories up to the gates of Rome. The only thing that is true in that is that Hannibal Barca did indeed take the elephants over the alps, but elephants are not made for such terrain and cold and so they were never used afterwards except as a show of strength before battles.

I remember them telling us of Robert the Bruce and the hero that he was when he was a conniving French noble trying to avoid payment of his debts.

Worse even, the criticism came, as I said some religious leaders came out against my paper. This, however, was very much to my surprise, as this was the closest thing to proof of a deity ever published. There have been others but usually published by zealots or religious fanatics of some sort and few that even registered in the science field and there to be sniffed at for a while then forgotten. Much as proof of alien intervention and the like was. I was a confirmed dyed in wool atheist telling everyone that I had incontrovertible proof that there was and is a god. Gold to every churchman, woman and place of worship out there, I thought, but religion by its very nature is unholy and full of disregard and schism.

 

 

 

 

So some idiot somewhere was calling me the new messiah, as only the Son of God could prove his existence. Meanwhile many church leaders were calling me a blasphemer as what man can prove the existence of god. I heard they were trying to get up a petition on face book for a jihad against me. I don’t know if that’s true as I had to delete my face book page with the amount of hate messages there were.

I should say that though I have focused my ire on religious people here that I was also getting messages from the calmer churches thanking me for making things clear, and even for assuaging their doubts. One minister confided in me that with all that was going on the world that he was having a crises of faith but I had reaffirmed it and he would continue with his calling.

Another priest that by confirming the existence of god I was putting him out of a job and what other job do you get with such good perks.

 

 

I had been expecting the bad news from my colleagues yet I knew that given time for them to assess the data then they would come round as I said facts are facts after all.

They did not come round for the first few weeks, at least, and I made the excuse to myself that they are still reviewing things but there was no lessening of the hate mail that I was receiving and few messages of acceptance or even condolence.

I am not one to make friends easily as I have said yet my one message of hope came from one that I hated.